A slice of my life

I have always imagined life as a suspense thriller. You never know what is going to happen the next moment. Some times the twist is interesting and thrilling and some other time it’s very tragic. Today I want to share one phase of my life. Those days were extremely unpredictable for me merged with suspense, happiness and tragedy. You can say I saw the world within three months.

My father was going through a serious ailment- partial lung damage. Day by day his condition was worsening with no rays of hope. Doctors gave up in my town and I was wondering here and there for some relief at least from a single doctor. I was spending my days searching for possibilities for his cure and nights sitting besides him. After 30 sleepless nights and restless days I found one doctor in Vishakhapatnam.

 For me he was a blessing by God. I took my father to him for his opinion. He studied the reports (I was reading his eyes at that time- very bright and positive) and turned to my father and said, “Don’t worry sir, you will get back to normalcy within one month. Just a minor surgery and that’s it.” I took a deep breath and looked at my father. His smiley face was clearly showing the wrinkles he got through his ailment. The God sent Doctor wanted to speak to me alone so I went to him again after dropping my father at home. He told me about the complexities of the surgery and also asked me to arrange five AB+ bottles (my father’s blood group which is rare) as it was not available in his hospital. He even asked me to go for the surgery within 10 days. 

That time I was unaware of my next ten days but I said “go ahead sir, I’ll arrange every thing but you take care of my father’s health”. Me and my family members tried to contact each soul we knew on this earth who could donate blood but failed. But I lied my father, “yes we arranged every thing; you need not worry, just prepare your self for the good days ahead”. Only three days left for the surgery and I was yet to confirm donors. But I was still optimistic. 

Just two day before the surgery I took the name of God and called all other possibilities. And I was able to arrange three golden hearts who came forward to donate blood.

We left for the hospital and my father got admitted. I saw my family sitting restlessly outside the ICU. I still can’t forget my mother’s desperate dry eyes. Her eyes had only one question for me “you promised he will be alright, you won’t step back right?” But till then I had no answer for her. 

I have lied my family that the lung surgery is very minor just like a small appendicitis and they too believed me, little did anybody knew that it was a serious cardio-thoracic surgery. I was feeling very sad and unable to control my tears, but I knew I have to be tough to hold my family strong at that difficult time. 

Feeling restless I went out side the hospital and my phone rang. It was an unknown number – “Hello- I said with a gloomy voice. Hello madam I am Srinu from Hyderabad, you remember me? (He was my junior in Hyderabad two years back). Yes tell me Srinu… Madam we heard about your father, and we have arranged 5 persons who are willing to donate blood, you just give me a call when you need it we will come to the hospital. Don’t worry; we all are with you….. I had no words to thank that angel, how can they still remembers me after two long years and are so eager to help! If I would believe in Karma then it is the good deeds of any of my family member’s previous life, and the help we were getting is a result of that. 

 I took it as shiny hint by God that my father will recover. That night too went sleepless for me as the next day would decide our destiny. Next morning I woke up with a positive note and went to my father, gave him all moral support I can. But he was a brave man with high spirit. Nurses and ward boys came with a stretcher and took my father to the OT. 

I can’t tell you how stormy my heart was at that time. I again faced my mother’s teary eyes, this time even more heart wrenching. I tried to console her and my sisters and went out side the hospital after the operation started.

I was sitting there for some fresh air unknown of the fact that tears are flowing on my cheeks like a flooded river. Suddenly I felt some thing soft and tender on my hand. I turned my face and saw a little girl of around 2 years old is holding my hand and smiling. I still can’t forget that innocent face. She said some thing to me in telugu, a not so familiar language for me. 

But I understood that she is asking why I am crying. I wiped off my tears and gave a smiley look at her, she was very happy to see me smiling. She started calling me Akka. For that moment she took all my worries away. With my broken telugu I started speaking with her. She was very cute. Most noticeable thing about her - she was laughing loud for every single thing as if she is a very happy girl. After 10 minute her mother came, she was looking pale and tired. I greeted her but she just gave a dry smile and sat silently. 

 I again went to my mother who was outside the OT. The surgery went for 4 long hours. And there the doctor came, with a big broad smile on his face. He turned to my mother and said “Maa, your husband is a free man now, the thing which was bothering him; we took that out of his body, no need to cry, he is absolutely fine. His high spirit for living made the surgery easier for us, being a diabetic he responded like a Normal man.” At that time he was looking like a heavenly body on earth saving my father and family. 

They allowed us to see him for a while, I can’t describe that scene ... I really can’t. He was on an oxygen mask, with numberless wires attached to his entire body. How can I forget that moment full of happiness and pain. Happy for the surgery was successful and painful to see his condition in ICU.

He would be there for the next seven days and after that we can go home. Next day I asked my mother to take rest in the hotel and I went to the hospital. I was sitting outside the ICU when I heard a quite familiar voice “Akka she was that happy little girl looking at me with a dazzling smile. I pampered her and started speaking with her in broken telugu.

 I again saw her mother and this time she was looking even colorless and no smile at all. I thought may be she was there for her father or some other person. As the nurse called her, she went inside the doctor’s room with her little girl and father. She came out after one long hour. She sat next to me, looking nervous and restless. I finally asked her why she is so sad (it was intolerable for me to see any body in sadness). 

She said her daughter (that sweet little girl) is having a big hole in her heart for which she needs immediate surgery. And she started crying. Ohhh!!!! How can this happen. I was shocked with grief. I can’t believe, that little girl is always laughing instead of going through so much of pain? Is that the reason why she was always trying to be happy? That tiny angel gave me new strength to fight with life (I must admit). 

I consoled her mother “don’t worry, the doctors here are very good, they cured my father, they will definitely make your baby normal again”. Soon they admitted her. Her surgery would take place on Monday (day before my father’s discharge). By then she became a star in the dormitory(cardiology), making every heart patient full of life and hope. 

If she will see me from her dormitory window, she would start screaming, Akka… Akka...chocolate Akka. A day before my father’s discharge, I was busy with clearing the bills and paper works. I went to the ICU during afternoon and saw that little girls parents walking restlessly.

 I asked her mother and she said they took the baby around 9am but still no one is coming out. I told her not to worry, and she will be fine. I again returned around 5pm but they were still waiting outside the OT. I went to my father, there I asked a nurse about the child’s condition. She said the surgery was very critical and there is a team of 8 specialist doctors for it, but the baby will be fine. I felt relaxed and gave the same information to her parents. 

After some times, doctors came out and they too gave similar assurance to them. Her parents were very happy to hear this. After some time I returned to the hotel eagerly waiting for next morning, for a new beginning for my father and family. ; I got up very early and went to the hospital, and when I entered the ICU, I was shocked to see the scene there. That little baby was surrounded by 6-7 doctors; they were trying hell to save her life.

 I have no words to express how my happiness turned sour at that time. I went to my father and he informed me that doctors are standing there the whole night. I was heart broken when I saw her in that critical stage. Her laughter and that innocent address “Akka” was still echoing around me. I along with my uncle went out and completed rest other formalities and went upstairs to bring my father. There I heard the tragic news- the little angel is no more, she succumbed to the surgery. 

I had no courage to face her mother whom I gave so much hope. I requested my uncle to bring my father down and went down stair. I sat on the ground and started sobbing like a baby. I was feeling so helpless and sad at that moment. Later that day we all returned home from Vishakhapatanam. Every one was looking so happy for my father and was appreciating my efforts but I was sitting dull thinking about that tiny angel who taught me to live happily even in pain, who gave me new energy to fight with life but sadly she lost her precious one. I really saw the world within those critical moments of my life…